I feel so stupid

I just am. Im stupid. Im embarrassing.

Im trying so hard to be friends with someone that doesn’t want to be friends with me. I look like an actual clown.

For some reason, I just continue along the same path.

He just wants to be coworkers that are amicable, friendly. He’s not looking for friends. He has a family, he has friendships. He doesn’t need some stupid overtly emotional desperate loner in his life.

What do I bring to the table? Im not fun. Im rarely funny. I have a terrible sense of what is and isn’t socially acceptable. I feel so pathetic.

I am pathetic. I wish I didn’t feel this way. I wish I didn’t behave so pathetically. I wish I could befriend someone that wants to my friend just as much.

Also, if that is the case in my current situation, I would like to be made aware of it. Because as of now. I feel like a nuissance. I feel like I’m intrusive. I feel terrible about myself. And I wish I didn’t.